Everything

I said I was going to stop talking about him because it's for the best but this has been on my mind a lot lately. For a guy who has never lived on campus it's awful strange that everything on campus seems to remind me of him.
Calhoun = lifegroup
Scioto = a late saturday night
Sigma sigma = running around in the early hours of the morning and the Cru picnic
Zimmer = all our talks
Campus Green Garage = Dub Step Party & ghost stories
Market Pointe = dinner before lifegroup
TUC = Cru
The stairs in front of TUC = more talks
400B in TUC = where we met
CRC Circle = where we were officially introduced
Braunstein Hall = class at the same time
McMicken Commons = star trippin'
ERC = he was an engineering major
Main Street = where we talked
Center Court = many group dinners
Okay so there are parts of campus that don't remind me of him but they are few and far between. I walk through sigma sigma, ERC, & Zimmer, and past scioto & campus green everyday, it's hard not to think about him. *sigh
While not thinking about him is hard, not talking to him is even harder. It's not like I can't talk to him, I just get the feeling that every time I do, he's going to think I'm doing it to get his attention, to try and change his mind. I learned the hard way though, that changing a guy's mind is nearly impossible. If a relationship isn't something they want, then it isn't going to happen, that's just the simple fact of life. That doesn't make my feelings change, stop, or disappear; it's been a day over two months (exactly) and I can't possibly be expected to have moved on already. It took me 5 months to get over the last guy and I didn't like him any where near as much as I like Him, that's bad because I had an actual chance with the other guy. I try so very hard everyday to not ask 'why me' or 'what is wrong with me' but some days I just can't help but wonder what the big guy upstairs is thinking and why HIS plan is seeming to take so long. People say that special guy will come when I'm expecting it the least, but I won't stop expecting/wanting it until I give up and I'm not known for giving up, so it's going to be awhile. I'm constantly telling myself to let it go and lately, I think I've done fairly well not thinking about finding a boyfriend but that could be because I keep thinking about Him. I can't help but feel like there's supposed to be some thing there. How can I be so wrong about my own love life, when I'm so good with everyone else's? A friend and I had dinner tonight and He happened to be in TUC as well (complete coincidence, I swear) and I guess she noticed my glances at him because she asked if I was still had a crush on him. It was part of my motivation for this post and honestly if you've ever met the guy, you would understand why it is so hard not to like him. I don't regret telling Him, not in the least, but I hate how it semi-ruined our friendship; the one thing I wanted more than the relationship itself, to keep our friendship intact and while He still says 'hi,' he doesn't initiate conversations anymore and it almost seems like He avoids talking to me when He can, but that might just be my paranoia (which is a subject for another day).