First Week

The first week of the year is officially over and I do feel like somethings have changed. The first (almost full) week of classes is over too. I don't feel incredibly optimistic about this quarter but I'm going to do my best and seek out help whenever and wherever I can.
Along with things changing, I feel I've learned some things too. For example:

• the word "stud" is drastically overused among my male friends
• Letting little annoyances get to me is a good way to not stick to my resolutions
• My computer (wi-fi) is not beneficial to Bio or Chem (mostly chem)
• I have a hard time focusing on anything else when I'm talking to certain friends
• I think I'm happier when I'm crushing on someone than when I'm not (truth)
• Trying to stop myself from liking anyone only makes me focus on him more (insanely difficult to deal with)
• Twitter is a lot faster for communicating but not really all that private
• I can be honest and accepted/understood
• Some people understand better than I expect, so I need to give them a chance before I decide they won't

Changes I've seen in the last 7 days:

• The guys seem to grow closer everyday (makes me wonder why the girls aren't that close)
• I've let go of a lot of things that would have bothered me before
• People are starting to listen to what I say (and realize when I'm right)
• I'm really just letting things  happen (and it's working)
• Australia is becoming a greater reality (every day)
• Comfort zone is breaking down
• New things are being explored and getting to know new people
• Speaking up more often

And yet some things will never change.

• I'm still not part of the "in" crowd but that I'm okay with (most days)
• Some of my friends still don't realize they may not be looking at all the options
• Other friends are still goofy, weird, and love-struck despite minor arguments
• I don't have a boyfriend (working on being okay with that)
• Listening AND hearing God are still challenging
• Time still isn't abundant
• I'm still lazy about homework or lesson (class) related things
• I can't stop thinking about wanting a boyfriend

Now I'd like to address something I pointed out "I think I'm happier when I'm crushing on someone than when I'm not" some people would call me crazy others would simply ask me why well it goes hand-in-hand with "Trying to stop myself from liking anyone only makes me focus on him more". The more I tell myself (and hear others say) God will bring the right guy into my life when it's time the more I can't help but think about the last guy I told about my feelings for him. I don't think more highly of anyone on the planet than I do of him. It's not that I don't realize he has flaws and that there are things that would make it difficult for us to ever get married (not that I'm thinking that far ahead) but it adds to my point. He may not be perfect but he's everything I want in a guy, personality-wise, physically he's missing about 4-6 inches and maybe 20-30lbs of muscle, I wouldn't mind is he grew his hair back out either (sigh such pretty hair all gone), but I digress. He makes me laugh at times when almost no one can but he's got this serious, intellectual side to him as well. I could go on and on about him...but I won't seeing as how I know how he feels and I've already done that (I think). Back to my point though it's more fun to be crushing on someone because I get a little more flirtatious and I'm a little more gung-ho to do things and I enjoy things a little more because there is someone there I want to be spending a lot of time with. That's not to say I don't want to spend time with my friends but you see the difference, right? Yeah so I think I have more fun when I'm crushing on someone. My only problem with crushing on someone new though is I just told him so it doesn't seem like it's been long enough for me to get over it although it's really been at least 6 months coming. I just wish I could quit wishing, absolute certainty that things are going to work out how I want would be nice but that's not the way God works, insanely curious to see what tomorrow's message is about.