So 5 friends of mine left for a summer project in Traverse City Michigan back in June and they got back on the 6th. Well 6 went but one was a leader so he was there for a while then went to Colorado then...well he's just been a lot of places recently. ANYWAY so throughout the project some friends they made up there posted pics of the stuff they were doing and those were really cool to see. One of my friends even started a blog but he didn't keep it going very well (just picking on u). So it was cool to read what they were up to and see what was keeping them crazy busy. I talked to a few of them while they were up there but it was always super late and they were tired. That i can understand, so what's on my mind u ask?
Well u see since they've gotten back (mind u its only been a day but still) all they've posted about is project and inside jokes and how much they miss the people they met and all this stuff. Ordinarily that kinda of stuff wouldn't bother me but what I don't think any of them know is i applied to go on the summer project with them but due to certain circumstances I wasn't able to. So i've spent the last 2 months at home doing nothing while they've been making new friends, memories, and jokes. I mean the 5 that went weren't my closest friends from school (well im pretty close w/ one but the others not so much). I still feel like i've missed out and yeah i have other friends that didn't go (most of them being closer friends) but its just annoying to see every other post "fomo" and "miss ur studliness" and "there's a so & so sized hole in my heart, u need to fill".
Sometimes i wonder if anyone realizes how hurtful it is to see ur "friends" say they miss other people but not even try to talk to u all summer. i thought cru (& rc) was different than that but i wasn't as close w/ my rc friends so that doesn't bug me. I'd just like an unexpected "hi" or "miss u" or "how's ur summer going". id like to get those messages w/o having saying anything first. I also feel like things are going to be different when we get back, I feel like those 5 are going to be really close and clique-y despite their personalities. I get that project is a life changing experience and those u go w/ become close to u because its such a unique situation and because u see them everyday for two months straight, i just wish/hope that they share things w/ the rest of us and don't be come like those people that say "what happens at ____ stays at _______" or "its a _______ thing u wouldn't get it". I know i say the first one about band camp but that doesn't really matter now cuz no one i go to school w/ knows anyone i went to band camp w/ .....*correction no one i go to school w/ that i hang out with.
I can't wait to get back to school, so i can get out of this house but i just hope things haven't changed too much.
Mood: apprehensive :{
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