I have so many different thoughts going through my head right now, 1st how did I miss the 13th's Glee? 2nd Why had I never head of the movie Passengers, it stars Anne Hathaway (love her). 3rd Some people really annoy me, they think no one else in the world has problems and their lives are sooooo terrible. I know I'm going to catch a ton of flack for that statement but if you're offended you obviously don't know me very well. 4th I'm wondering if it's sad or weird or crazy that I'm more excited about the ride to Indy CC and the ride to Cincy with J than I am about Indy CC it's self?
1) I think I was in a conversation with a few people that night, I missed New Girl too but I watched that last night. I loved that episode of Glee, so many twists and turns.
2) Such a good movie and again so many twists and surprises kept me guessing until the very end.
3) It's not that your problems aren't important to me, because they are. All of my friends problems are important to me. Whether we were friends when I was 2, 12, or we just met last year I'd still care. That's just who I am. I don't care if we haven't talked in 10 years so long as you didn't do something to make me hate you (which BTW takes A LOT) then I will still care about your problems. Honestly though arguing with your parents or your boyfriend or your family just having issues in general, just so certain people don't jump to conclusions I'll clarify I'm talking to more than one person, is no life altering crisis. What teenager hasn't argued with their parents, at least they love you enough to let you continue to live under their roof and pay for your education, they aren't perfect but neither are you. You don't have the perfect relationship, he's insanely jealous or doesn't talk enough, maybe you talk too much or are trying to make a long distance relationship work although all signs say it never will. No relationship is perfect, not even those kind of relationships I envy are all smooth sailing. My family is the perfect example of family issues. I have to remind myself everyday that I should be grateful I have a family at all, regardless of whether they all get along or have no morals. We are all dealt a hand and we just have to know when hold them and know when to fold them as they old song goes.
4) I'm trying so hard to get excited about Indy but there's just a few things holding me back. Yes, it's good that I'm looking forward to spending an hour and a half with a dear friend and it's also good that I want to hang out with her seeing as how I have to regardless, either that or go sleep in the streets lol. But I just have this feeling that Indy wasn't the right choice. I'm getting so many questions about why I'm not going to Memphis and statements that people are shocked I'd choose not to. It's not coming from the RallyCats either, they seem to understand. It's coming from people I expected to be encouraging me to grow my faith and even more than that people I thought would understand why I chose how I did. It isn't like I didn't want to go to Memphis, because I did. A chance to get to possibly see Zach Collaros play one last time in person, I of all people would LOVE to see that. To see my beloved Bearcats win a bowl game, BCS bowl or not, count me in, especially since I may not be there at all next year. But I thought long and hard about it and only one person voiced their opinion one way or the other, which basically meant she wanted me to go to Indy besides the fact that Indy was the better for me option and the fact that I know she's right I'd regret not going. Sure if the Bearcats win on Saturday I'll be upset I wasn't there to see it in person but it's not like I can't watch it on TV and it's not like I could get on the field to celebrate with them. So why not ring in the New Year with some very close friends, rather than with some ssomewhat-friends, people I'd say I'm closer to than I was last year but still not anywhere near what I have with my Cru. I love the Rally Cats dearly and most of them seem like great people I just don't have that connection with them. I think that's another big thing I have against the actual conference, some of the people going. While I do have a special connection with most of the people in Cru, some people (mostly newer, not younger, just newer) just really push my buttons but I'm going to try working on that. Last but definitely NOT least is HIM. Yeah, I think I'd be ok if the two of the guys I thought were going to be there were going but as it turns out they aren't and that means the closest guy friend I have going (not that it's all that big a deal)is HIM. Sure, we can act like nothing happened and while we're apart that's not hard but when I see him I sigh and then everything he said that night comes rushing back and I'm left feeling slightly awkward and out of place. He' the kind of guy that takes center stage when he walks into a room. He has his moments when he just sits back and let's the show go on but most of the time he plays the leading role. He's him, simply put, everybody loves him and expects everybody else to too. I hope that made sense. I mean nobody expects there to be something going on or him to have some kind of tension with someone but it's there and it makes me want to scream when I see him because it seems last year's conference almost everything I did was with him, heck last year in general almost everything I did was with him. Most every great memory I have of college he is apart of. From fall-get-away, to something special to thanksgiving, to indy, to the end of spring quarter, to the last friday night on campus, he was a huge part of life. There is only one major event that happened last year that I can think of that he wasn't a part of, my birthday. If I can't get past this awkwardness and back to a place where we (I) can be normal, then I know for certain I'll have ruined something amazing all because I got to emotional. But can you blame me, with that description it's no wonder I fell for the guy. So to answer a question someone asked me a few weeks ago, yes S I am indeed still bitten by the love bug, but wy wouldn't I be, you know him and now you know even more why. *SIGH
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