It's NOT jetlag

It's him and my computer.
When I'm alone I can be on my computer as much as I want because the light and my typing isn't going to bother anyone. We went to my brother's for Tuesday night to Thursday afternoon and my sister's and I slept in the living room, I couldn't be on my computer because it would wake them up and I'm actually that considerate...some times. Also when I'm alone I'm free to think and cry. And believe me, I cry almost every night. I'm crying because I miss him and think I'm never going to see him again, or because I miss him and don't think he misses me, or because I miss him and now that he's missing me and that kills me. I absolutely hate being in love (if that's what this is), it's almost worse than being single because I now know there's a guy out there that cares about me as much as I care about him and I can't be with him.
Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I absolutely love UC and my friends down there but if I could would finish my degree over there. I want to be with him (not sexually), to feel his warm embrace and see his big brown eyes look at me like no one has ever looked at me before. To be able to tell him how much I care about him and have him stroke my hair and tell me how much he loves my eyes. SOme people will think this is just another of my silly crushes and that I've just fallen too deep again but I'm the only one who's ever seen the way he looks at me and heard the way he talks to me when he's being, as he puts it, lame.
We chatted on facebook tonight and some of the things he typed i could almost hear him say. I don't know if it was helpful or not to talk to him because on the one hand it made me want to be there with him so much more but it was also nice to be able to talk to him.
Damn it, it's only been a week since I last saw him and already my heart is breaking. :'(
Even half way around the world he's trying to comfort me; boy has his faults but he's still great.