Up late or early...

So since I got back I've had trouble sleeping, some would call it jet lag, heck that's what i told him it was but that's not true. I miss him like crazy and I feel like i can't tell him that because i already have and I don't want to annoy him. I have a tendency to get a little clingy when I'm lonely and I've never felt more alone in my life than the moment i walked around the corner toward security in the Sydney airport. My biggest flaw in my opinion (in matters of the heart) is that when I care I have the ability to care too much or more than the other person. I've been seriously considering going back to Australia, just for him. Sure, I miss the other friends I made and being so close to the beach but mostly I just miss him. I miss the feel of his arms around me in the wee hours of the morning and the way he looked away when I'd look directly into his eyes. The way he was always up for a walk to the beach and his lame jokes, made me feel special. He's an amazing guy and I know I've said that about other guys and I'm lucky to have such amazing young men in my life but even the guys before him pale in comparison to him (and not just because he has such a tan complexion). I've never had anyone take so much interest in me or be so willing to go out of their way for me. I think we really had something and leaving him was one of (if not the) hardest things I've ever had to do. Seriously, ask him how many times those last few weeks I just randomly broke down crying, then multiply that by 2 for the times I wasn't with him. Not to mention I've cried for/about him at least once every day since I got home. I just miss everything about him, I've watched the video he made me at least 10 times and it's only been up Sunday morning. Every song I hear and every thing I do or see I can relate to him in some way. I think I may be bordering on the edge of obsessed and why shouldn't I be I spent nearly every second with him for a week to 2 weeks. Damn I miss him.