Talked

Well that was almost worse than just flat out saying he didn't like me. I'm starting to hate the phrase "I'm just not ready for a relationship." Why do I keep finding guys that "aren't looking for a relationship?" I say I hate when they say that because it doesn't give me the slightest clue how they actually feel. It could be taken that they are just being nice and don't want to say they don't like me, or it could be that they haven't thought about it, or it could be that they do like me but aren't ready for a relationship which is the worst because it leaves me with the hope that one day they will be ready and I should just wait for them. The last guy who told me he wasn't ready for a relationship strung me along and even made me feel guilty about liking him so much and although he said we could be friends we hardly ever talk and we never hang out like we used to. Things are weird and strained between us and conversation doesn't flow. I don't know if i can handle that happening with another one of my guys friends. I'd say i was closer to the first guy than i am to this guy so it'd be even worse, i just know it. I can tell from the awkward hug like hand shake thingy we did after we talked. I've only ever hugged him once before, which is weird because he's seems like the hugging type, and this was just weird, it started out as a handshake and it was like half way through he decided a hug would be better but we were already shaking hands...idk it was just awkward. I've been told to think positively but if you really know me, you know I'm not a positive person. I want nothing more right now to go curl up with my puppy and cry. Why does life have to be so hard? I'd take a hug from my best friend too :( 
AND on top of all that I have a final tomorrow and a bio exam on Friday.