DISCLAIMER: I'm sorry if parts of this make you mad but I ask that you do 4 things before you respond, if you respond.
1) Keep in mind that I’m a 19 year old girl
2) Read the entire thing
3) Keep in mind things online don't always come across the way they are meant, so please don't fly off the handle at me next time u see me
4) Remember that you said that you like/admire that I'm so honest and upfront, so this is me being upfront
Idk how much my opinion means to you but while re-reading my blog (yeah, I do that) I came across the one that describes how I wasn't honest w/ u and even when I was "honest" with u, I wasn't. I was afraid of what your response would be if I was, so I twisted the truth a bit. Truth is I thought that don't like her. I guess I should clarify, it isn't that I don't like her, because she seems nice and she makes u happy, that much is obvious but I don't like how you've changed sense she moved up here. I thought that the two had some kind of correlation but like I said she is nice and she tried hard to get to know me. It wasn't bad last spring, you seemed happier and I was okay with that, but since she's been around she seems to dominate your time. And yes, she's important, she is a major part of your life, but it seems like she is your life, nothing else seems to be important any more, not life group, not supporting your friends, and not me, I know we're just friends and you are under no obligation to take an interest in my life, you don't even have to be my friend, God knows you don't talk to me any more, not like we used to. I still see u as an older brother, I like to think we are close and I think u really care about me, at least I used to think so; I’m not saying I could hold a candle to her for your attention but I thought I was important to u.
Do you realize the last time we really talked was on Facebook and even then it was at the end of January? I miss the guy I met last year, the guy that took me out for tacos and told me things not many people knew. The guy that I told about Him and other guys and trusted not to tell anyone. the guy that talked about more than his wedding; that's exciting but what else is going on in your life, how's your senior design coming (that is if your still working on it), how's work, what's she up to besides planning a wedding? I miss the guy that wanted to know about his friends' lives outside of the life group setting. The guy that would actually respond when I sent him a message. The guy that was trying his best to come see me this summer, not the guy that barely seems like he wants to be around me.
I know your super busy and stressed and that your life is about to go through some major changes and I have to be realistic, I may never see you after the last life group/Cru of the quarter because you'll have started a new chapter of your life. First with your wedding and then with starting a full time job and setting up your new house but while you’re still here it'd be nice to have my "big brother" back. I guess what I’m saying is I don't have to try very hard to imagine what it'll be like next year because you are already so distant that I already miss you.
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