1st Month

So I've been meaning to type this since Thursday, as Thursday marked the end of my 1st month of my second year on campus, meaning that i've spent 10 months on campus and i feel ten is a good number. I've learned a lot in the past month, including some very difficult lessons in accepting what comes and being grateful for what i have rather than longing for what my friends have. So if u've read any other post or if u actually know me then u know, that i love animals and am single. two things i struggle with greatly, now u may wonder why is her love for animals something she struggles with? well being in Cincy there are only three animals u see a lot of, birds, squirrels and Lucy. sure there's the occasional dog and Leah has a bunny, but id really rather have an animal around daily, that would make me happy...kinda. You see most of my close friends have boyfriends, and i mean fairly serious bfs too. Don't get me wrong I love them, they are great guys, it's just hard being around couples all the time and last year i would have told u i enjoy being alone but that's not really true anymore sure i need time for myself but id really rather be with my friends than in my room or the library. However, i don't always want to hang with them because i feel like the 3rd wheel even though they try so hard not to let me feel that way. so itd be nice to have someone around that keeps me from feeling that way, like a best friend who is also single or better yet a bf. Last year i had a best friend well for a few months anyway and now she's super busy w/ school (i get that) and when she actually does have time to relax she's with him (i get that too). I realize he's been gone for the last 6 months and she still barely get's to see him as is but its still hard on me not having her around/as accessible as she was last year. I know she's trying and that she feels really bad for being so busy but it doesn't always feel like she is and i miss her. Don't get me wrong on this either her bf is an amazing guy, u can even ask her i think pretty highly of him so it's not like i don't like him, cuz i do i just wish she wasn't so busy. Whereas my very best friend's bf i don't like quite so much. I'm not even sure i like him at all. I mean i love that he loves her and that he's great with her but some of his values and some of the things he says, idk.
Anyway back to my lessons, I messed up last Wednesday and although i say it wasn't my fault truth is i know i could have done about a million things differently, but i also know that it's in the past and i can't change that, so i have to move on and forgive him no matter how much i think he was wrong. Being grateful actually ties in w/ that because although i don't have the job, i have so many other things in my life to be grateful for. I have the chance to go to Australia next fall and a great University giving me the education i need for vet school and many MANY more freedoms cuz i live in an amazing country and serve an amazing God who has truly blessed beyond all reason.