Moving On

Some people think it's long past time for me to move on and don't understand why I would even think about giving him a second chance. Well the logical side of me doesn't understand it either. Honestly, I really want to. I want to move on and find someone new, forget about all the pain he caused me and beside all that to be able to sleep peacefully at night. Clearly my subconscious hasn't let go yet. Late at night, normally when I've had a really nice day, my subconscious finds a memory that I thought I'd hidden way deep down, tucked into a folder in a filing cabinets that sits in a dark, dusty corner in my brain (not that my brain is dusty). It pulls out said memory and plays it like a movie in my head, its favorite seems to be the last night that I actually slept in Australia (which was the night before my last night, the Wednesday of that week). I still can't believe that is an actual memory and not just a fantasy, it's memories like that, that make him so hard to forget. I try and I try but when you go from feeling safe and secure to heartbroken and betrayed by the 1st person... well just from by Him, sometimes your heart tries to trick you into thinking the good memories out weigh the bad actions. Not true, but the heart has a mind of it's own, at least mine does.